Thursday, February 18, 2010

727 Nipponia (part 1)

  Animal.  Left outside with its wet.  Who'd've locked
the door?  Its wet paws. People came to see & claimed it looked
like an emotion.  A remnant of a former time, dust on its breath.
Mammal perhaps & became a kind of local relic, made to perform
tasks as it sank its teeth into the earth.  An untamed but not unkind
   To dry.  left to dry in its wet.  Viewed only from the outside.
Kissed good night, even after all this time.
     Pulled out its old bag of tricks; enacted a performance of itself.

Driving home, I will often pinch off the ends of cigarettes.
Smoke billowing.  Deer attentive, curious after the luminosity of
some creature, human.
   Brought to orgasm by the mere glimpse of a Persian rug.
   Such wonderful thread, such color.
   Welcome to the land.  That is the marvelous thing about living;
you forget so much of each day.  Branded a mystery.  A few of my
peers would often shut the door.  It was a silly thing.  An unwarranted
advance.  He asked, more pointedly than on previous occasions, what it
was all about.
    A little while.  As I was young, with our mouths intertwined.  I used
to eat chicken from a small yellow bowl.  What's true bceomes less true.
   In any case, becomes seen as such.
   Familiarity of only particular memories.
      Fondness for illegible notes scrawled while asleep.
   It was only toward the end of things he began to comprehend a word
cannot rhyme with itself.
       In the lap of altercation, she came back with a roll of
store-bought cookie dough.
             "I can't believe you could look me in the eye," she said.
             "I have never shed a single tear."  This I remember.
   The ability of the mind to accord for these silly little activities,
such as the knitting of a stitch.  She cannot grasp much anymore.

             Describe for me a moment of happiness:

             something to which I've grown accustomed, a voice, a river,
when it rained, the water came up from the sediment & met the air,
however briefly, to drown us.  It seemed more frenetic as we swam,
all our Styrofoam broken & pale.
      Told to me in another voice.
  I wanted to start wearing latex gloves just to avoid the daily static
shock of the door.  Thank you so much for standing on the table, for
making of yourself a spectacle.
   "I would do it for anyone."
   "As of tomorrow, I will have lived for 10,000 days."
   Things to think about when thinking about other things.
Interruptions.  As a teenager, I kept a bowl of sugar under my bed.
Life stopped feeling like a television show when I saw the nick of skin
missing from his wrist.
    Picture it.  Only at the age of twenty-five did I start taking my teeth
seriously.  This has a purpose.  What it means both to identify & desire.
October 14th.
       "America loves a clearly defined winner!"
           "It isn't your money."
 A slap across the face.  An aversion to confrontation.  My father
became more human to me when he began to let go of being his
 We lived in secret for awhile, our dreams.  She became someone
to confide in, buying books when she thought no one was looking.
 I could hear his voice on the other side of the door, tying strings
even as he tried to explain them.  I began to think he was doing it
to protect me.
    "Think of the universe as a trampoline on which are placed
      bowling & tennis balls, or galaxies like Braille in a notebook.
      Maybe all this began by brushing against another page.  In
      other words, even though the origin is unknowable, it isn't
      necessary.  I just wish it were possible."
He harvested images enough to see him through.  This region is
noted for its brutal winters; times when nothing new is born.
   I tried to ride their dog like a horse & nearly broke its spine.
What is is the culmination or remainder of what was.  We used
to look at naughty books together, long before we knew what it
was we were looking at, just enough to know bodies & secrecy.
I could hear him through the vent, all steam & moans.  This was
back when I thought he was fork-tongued.  My doppelganger.

   "I was going to call you about the jam tomorrow because those
things on me is just ridiculous.  They were down by the boats
earlier & they were such good kids.  It was when we first got a dog.
Father's was it first or something like that.  We may not even need
it.  I'm going to get my yes because putting it out again.  I could turn
some of these in for both of us.
   "I had it already, right there.  Where?  I had to have it over again.
What, dad?  I just went in & sat down.  And by that point, she's
probably already looking at her point.
   "Oh that's good.  That's real icy, you know what I mean.  They're
doing pretty good though," was how she lived, only in the comfort
of blankets & reality television.
        I became a material.

        Memory & syntax.
 The relation to the object was what troubled me, made me pause.

 Those days held a lot of uncertainty, disorder.  Some things are
better left alone.

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