A simple material, left in my care and transferred from one point to another. It was so banal, the thought of it, but, in moving it, sent sparks running wild through the network. Collected whispers and closed doors. The way he looked at me, the way of silence as I come near. You asked me exactly what I thought you would, phrased it perfectly so I wouldn't notice the undercurrents. Kept from me as I longed to have it grown. Smiles on their faces, painted, a breath of air between us. So sure the path was set.
Fire! Air. The way of wind as I unfold this. It was a puzzle I could not figure, even as my life depended on it. Your claws sank deep into my flesh.
He was doing something I should not have seen, pulled you aside to ask the burning question. This is an elaborate fantasy. Everything I am converges on this point. If any of it is true, I can never look anyone in the eye.
I have been here before. I know this place so well. It haunts me, how familiar it is. I want to wash away the impurities, come clean. How my voice trembled, how my hands shook. It will be such a spectacle.
I foresaw this and let it happen. If I showed the least concern, I would still be in another's back pocket. You were prepared, sharpening your tools to be at the ready.
Something is about to happen. Sometimes you don't fully reflect on the consequences. I imagine a sweet embrace, a cautious exchange—saw green, fell to pieces. I am worn through. Maybe it's all for nothing.
Then again, I have watched you watch him. Always with an ear to the ground.
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